ISSUE 30: my heart hurts but his is worse
When life throws you lemons, but you don't want the lemons - navigating acute feelings in unknown waters, a self tanner to get you through spring, a new website launch and more
The Debrief is a weekly newsletter - because the post life event chats are (almost) always better than the event itself. Forever honest and aesthetic driven.
I’m supposed to be packing for Punta Cana but the idea makes me barfy
I’m supposed to organize all five passports in my wallet, but I choke up when I put his back into my drawer
I’m supposed to be excited, but how can I be when so much is up in the air now
It’s acute right now — I keep telling him (& myself) as if it will make any of this any easier - as if the prospect of not joining us on our family trip that we’d all been looking forward to for months isn’t enough, as if suddenly having to adopt a restrictive diet isn’t enough, there’s also the uncertainty, there’s the how bad is this, there’s the uninsurability, there’s the is it only one artery, there’s the how blocked is it, there’s the how fast can a procedure happen, there’s the middle of the night panic attacks (mine not his), there’s the great fog that dims every normal thought.
It’s just a trip, but dammit if the whole thing isn’t shit.
But at the same time when you Google heart issues at 41 and the term widow-maker pops up suddenly the acute feels less restrictive and more okay - the warning signs that dragged on for months and finally have some semblance of a label. While the unknown provides little comfort here, the small piece of the puzzle hopefully has a big ass band-aide that we will soon find.
Alt caption - the week I pretended everything was okay on social media whilst I cried more then the last ten years combined.
Okay 5 things from the week:
1 | Excited to get my glow on with this non toxic self tanner (use code ASHLEYIZSAK for 10% off)
2 | If you happen to be apartment hunting in Paris
3 | The prettiest beach accessory
4 | Made me laugh
5 | Moodboard on the wall (how clever)
SAMANTHAKLEIN.CA is live
Sam is a mentor of mystics, teaches psychic development in a clear and easy way, reads human design, and is just an all around amazing human being. Sam just launched Spirit Keys: The Community and it officially begins April 1st - learn more here.
I gave Sam a fresh new look on Squarespace and I love the colour palette we landed with, the almost trippy like florals and how well they infuse with her energy.
Want more of this? Send me a DM on Instagram, hire me to design your brand or website.
Thank you for reading. I used to write a lot so this feels good. — Ashley.